Have a Good Laugh

OK, I make it a a practice to answer Most questions I am asked, On the Website, so that I do not have to keep answering them. These are actual questions that I have been asked me. If you don't know the answer to these, Please don't call me :).

1. Where is the house located?

    SW Portland, near PCC; click                                     for an interactive map. I do not publish the house address for security reasons, but when we set a showing time, I can give it to you.


2. Under what circumstances would you rent to a male?

    None.


3. Would you consider couples?

    Sorry, No; we are set up for a single occupancy in all rented rooms.


4. Do you accept emails?

    Yes; the address is chornerjohnson@gmail.com


5. I am concerned the room will rent fast, how can I contact you quickly?

    Text me:  503-544-6423


6. I smoke only a little but and only outside, may I ......

    No, No, No


7. I have a special circumstance that I want to discuss with you? Are you available
     some time soon to chat?

     Yes; text me and let me know when you are available.


8. How do you handle room-mate issues?

   We have monthly meetings to talk about things before they become
    a huge issue.


9. Pets:  Can I bring a pet into the house? Pets are welcome for a visit, with notice. If you want bring one in to live with us... possibly. The cats that you see in some of the pictures are not in residence currently. We are looking to add a female, fixed cat to our small community. If you have a female, fixed cat that you want to bring in to live with us, please talk to Catherine. We are not looking to add another dog. It's a "NO" on all reptiles, birds, farrets, rabbits, and other pets. Fish in a bowl would be alright; no large salt water aquariums.


10. Address: Can I have the street address? Yes, after we have talked. I need to screen potential housemates.  When we make an appointment to show the house, I will give you the address. It is a security precaution.


11. How long are your leases? I am asking for a 12 month lease, month-to-month after that period. The reason is that we like to create a stable living environment for all housemates. It is disruptive to have housemates changing often. We like to get to know you. We all make accommodations for schedules; we learn your habits. Living together harmoniously is an art. We create a comfortable atmosphere for everyone and like to keep things running smoothly. Every new housemate gets trained on all the appliances, cleaning practices, security system, heat system, and the workings of the house.


12. What are your house rules? We have agreed as housemates to several rules. Here are the main ones below; there are a few others that are posted in the house, that you will be shown, upon viewing it and again, before you sign the lease. Basically, the rules are there to ensure respectful behavior for all.


* We all work together to create Harmony; this is our Cardinal Rule

* No Smoking, Drugs,  No marajuana (yes I know it's legal), or Drunkeness

* No Sex in the in the house

* No Overnight Male guests, men leave by 11pm

* Keep posted Quiet Hours

* All of us attend housemate meetings once each month to discuss all new things happening in the house and problem solve any issue that might present itself


13. If I sign paperwork, do not pay you at signing, promise to do so in the near future, and continue to look for a place, will you hold the room for me? No, that's called 'failier to perform' in contract speak and I will rent the room to someone who does that which they promise to do.


14. If I sign paperwork, give you a deposit, then decide I can't move in, do I get my deposit back? No. When I make a contract with someone, I take the room off the market, inform all other potential housemates that the room has been rented. So that choice influences the lives of all current housemates and potential housemates. Other people interested in the room will rent other places, when I tell them, it is rented. It costs me time and money as a buisness owner to have a room vacant. If someone backs out of her agreement, I have to start up the rental machine, nagociate the schedules of current housemates, place ads, screen people, set up showings, set up meet-and-greets with current housemates, continue to pay bills, while the room is vancant during this process, etc.  The deposit is my assurance that a potential housemate is serious and compensates me for time and money spent.





i.  I have a full grown iguana from the Amazon; he lives in my shower. Can I bring him with me?


 Just to be clear...There will be no snakes, reptiles, or animals that bite in the house; AND no iguanas.


ii. OK, yes; I am a man, but what am I supposed to do to live?


iii.  I am nine months pregnant. I am not sure who the Dad is, so I can't get child support. I am unemployed; can my baby and I just live with you for a year or two? (OK this one was heart breaking.)


iv. Doesn't the room come with cleaning and laundry services? Why do I have to participate in keeping the house clean and neat?


v. I don't think that I can pass a criminal background check; can I still apply?


vi. Can I really turn my heater on if I am cold or open a window and  use a fan if I am hot? ...
Yes! Yes, you can.


vii. If I send you my whole pay check from the cruise ship that I am on, so that I can rent the room without seeing it,  can you forward the remainder of the money (after you take out the rent) right away to my Dad in Singapore?


viii.  Can you send room availability to my email address (didn't match the given name)? OK, this one seemed reasonable until I got locked out of my personal email and my computer got subsequently hacked via a google scam out of New Deli. I will talk to you on the phone and meet with you in person. I accept cash for rent.


ix. Please go check out my profile at this website. Nope. Similar scam as above.


x. Any broken English sentence is now a red flag, sadly, since I happily hosted exchange students for 10 years and I love diversity and travel. I screen carefully!




Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)